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Are you a victim?

When did the word ‘victim’ become so confused? When did shame get attached to being a victim? Perhaps it’s partly due to the rise in popularity of concepts, such as The Law of Attraction, that imply we’re responsible for everything that happens to us.

The victim is re-victimised.


The victim often has to deal with trauma and confusion, as well as the direct aftermath of whatever has happened to them. They cannot just get over it, move on, learn lessons from it, put it behind them, see how they attracted it, be a survivor, forgive, be strong, cheer up, use positive thinking, look on the bright side, and so on and on. Such glib instructions come from people who are impatient, lack compassion, need to be in control, or cannot be bothered to listen.

A victim must process what’s happened to them. And the better they can process it now, the less damage it will do to them in the long run. And, ironically, the sooner they will fully recover.

To do this, the victim needs respect, compassion, and validation. If you’re a victim, walk away from anyone who doesn’t give you this. That may mean walking away from many people…those you know, as well as professionals you encounter.

You can help your healing process. But the process will take as long as it takes.

Unless you want to suffer pain and risk long-term damage, you would not choose to run a marathon on a broken leg. And you would be wary of anyone who advised it.

You cannot choose to move forward on a broken spirit.

Beware anyone who tells you otherwise.



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